What To Do If Your Ex-Girlfriend Has a New Boyfriend

You still love her. It was not your choice to end the relationship. Just as the pain of the breakup began subsiding, you heard the news–she is in a new relationship. Your heart drops to your stomach and your throat feels like it is closing. The stinging in your eyes begins as you fight back the tears. So what now? Life does and will go on. All hope is not lost.

1. Let Go

This is much easier said then done, but it is the only place to start. There is a mantra you *must* live by at this point in time. You cannot change the past, you have to live in the present and you cannot worry about the future. The present may hurt; however, you only have so much control over it. You have to take care of you right now, not worry about her. The more you repeat this statement to yourself, the better you will feel.

2. Learn Not to Hate

It is easy to hate her new boyfriend. After all, he is with the girl you love. You must remember, though, that it is not his fault. He came into the picture after the picture was erased. Hate brings negativity, and negativity is going to hold you back from living your life.

3. Take Time for Yourself

Do whatever you can to make yourself happy. This is both strategic and emotional. First, if you want her back–which is still possible–she needs to see a confident man who can live life without her. She is not expecting this. The emotional is for you. Becoming the confident man she needs to see requires emotional healing that only you have control over. Keep yourself occupied with friends who can stop you from dwelling on your feelings. Laughter is the best medicine for a broken heart.

4. Be the Bigger Person

If you happen to run into the happy couple, be the bigger person, put a smile on your face and shake his hand. Introduce yourself to her new beau and ask her how she is doing. Keep the conversation short and sweet. Seeing them together will sting, but being decent and civil says a lot, especially to her.

5. The Honeymoon Period

Do not give yourself false hope, but keep in mind that every relationship goes through a honeymoon phase. Sure, she might be infatuated with him for the first two months, but this does not last forever. When she sees how great you are handling her new relationship, she is going to think twice about her decision.

6. Maintain a Friendship

As these months pass, let your ex know that you want to maintain a friendship. As time passes your heart will heal enough for this to be possible. You may even feel comfortable enough to hang out with her new man.

A breakup is never easy. Add to this your ex dating someone new and you feel like someone has stabbed you in the heart. Keep in mind, though, that even if your goal in the beginning is to win her back, this may change as you move past the heartache. The most important thing here is that you do move forward.